So my sister posted a huge blog. one of the hugest i've ever seen her post. i decided i am too lazy on this post to worry about proper punctuation.

the time is drawing nigh (sp?) that i will have to leave my parents' house and go back to benbrok. i am not looking forward to the initial move because i hate being alone right now, but i am looking forward to FINALLY having my little family! zach will be back in about three weeks and we will get to live in our home for a few months. THEN we have to move again to God knows where. (i had to capitalize God or, you know. i don't go to church enough to not worry about it.) i have no idea where we are going to live. we will have to buy a house and i hope we don't have to buy a crappy one. zach wants land, but i just want a non-crappy house. we lived in a house in AZ that was built in 1953. yuck. i just want a bigger, nicer house. i pray it works out.

on to the weight issue. it seems to be the topic that consumes my thoughts about 75% of the day. i watched one of those "true life" things on mtv and this pageant queen girl lost a bunch of weight by eating just cottage cheese. i love cottage cheese and if that would help me lose weight, i might do it. i just can't right now because i am nursing sadee. and to tell you all the truth, one of the motivating factors behind that decision was because it's supposed to help you lose weight. i have lost a little bit, but not much and not fast enough.

some people out there might be saying, she shouldn't be thinking like that ... that's not healthy ... she shouldn't be so hard on herself... Well, i am sorry, but i want to look better. i don't like the clothes i am wearing and i don't like all the mush around my waist. i gained 60 pounds during my pregnancy and i was trying to lose weight before i got pregnant! i have a ways to go.

ok, baby is calling me!