Last minute jitters....
It's almost 10 pm and we are due at the hospital at 10:30 am. I am so extremely nervous right now. I am afraid of the unknown. I have never had surgery of any kind. I have no idea how my body is going to handle this. I will be relieved to not feel like a planet anymore, but I have no idea what I am trading it for. Will the drugs they give me make me feel too loopy to take care of the baby? Will I be so tired I won't have any energy left for my sweet Sadee? Please, God, give me the strength to make it through the next few weeks.

This has been such a weird day. I think it's because I am finally allowing myself to realize my son will be here soon. My son. We will be raising a man. What a huge responsibility.

My hopes for him:
Son, I pray your father and I don't fail you. I hope you see how much we love you and that we never fail to let you know. No matter what you do in your life, we will always be there to lift you up. We pray you are a strong and responsible man who has lots of friends and knows who his savior is. I pray someday when you are a husband and father, you will be able to pass down the legacy of the love we are planting in you. You are destined for incredible things and you will be born into a world that is not ready for the likes of you, little man.

Son, I cannot wait to meet you and kiss your little forehead. I will see you tomorrow!

 My little man
 Folks have been asking about my little man and I feel just horrible that I haven't posted any pics of him yet. Well, I mean utero pics. Because really. But here he is.

It's uncanny just how much he looks like Sadee already. We I are am calling him Sully because I like the name Sullivan right now. Don't know if I'll like it in a week. But man! This little feller can kick! I think he's had hiccups the last few days in a row. Sadee did, too. And then she had them even after she was born.

Hasn't this been just a truly exciting post people?

Well, the girls at work threw us a big shower this Saturday and boy was it sweet. No pun intended. The baby cake, the gifts, the friends and oh yeah, my enormous gut, made everything start to seem more real to me. I guess I always knew I wanted more than one child, but now that that other child is closer to being on the way, it's such a weird feeling trying to imagine him actually wearing the actual clothes people actually bought for him. I am actually going to have a baby boy!

It's weird, but I always thought I wanted only boys. I always thought they seemed so much more easygoing and carefree and less complicated than girls, but I guess it's all in how you raise them. I think Sadee is just the greatest kid. She gets me. Not that I need some kind of validation from my kid, but she and I have such a little rhythm going. We move through our morning routine with ease. We move through our evenings at home with more ease. I am beginning to feel a little nesty right now so I wonder how this little guy is going to fit into that routine. Should I just develop a whole new family routine for all of us? I usually don't obsess about these things, but I just want things to be in their place and I want things to be just right. I've never felt so much like this before. God help us all!

Only 65 days left until he's here. We still don't have a name!

I do love the rain...

It's been raining for several days straight. We've gotten quite a bit of rain, like about 5 inches. That's a lot for us around here. It's truly great. But it makes me feel so lazy. I don't think I got a THING done this weekend. We went to a cute birthday party yesterday but Sadee's nose was running and we needed to scoot.

Anywho. I need to get my camera back from mom. I forgot it over there after we were on the way back from SeaWorld. So all my pics from the trip are trapped in there, waiting to get out.

I can feel the baby ALL the time now. Seems like we have movement ALL over the place. It's not so much a "flutter" (as the romanticized version the baby experts express) as it is the feeling of someone playing double-dutch jump rope with your small intestines. It's just a guts-under-siege feeling and it happens at the most inopportune times. Like when I am talking to an applicant or in a meeting with the boss. Not a good time for my buttons on my shirt to start pulsating.